Between deadbeat dudes, f-ck boys (we’re looking at you, Dean), ghosting and straight-up terrible first impressions, getting to know someone romantically can leave you feeling… Just watch any season of if you need further proof.
If you’ve ever felt like love is a battlefield loaded with shitty dudes waiting to stomp on your heart while making you pick up the cheque (or at the very least waste your precious time), have no fear—we’ve been there. 3, FLARE staff have generously shared their most terrible dating stories.
The Starbucks date didn’t start off terribly—he was about 5 inches shorter than he’d claimed to be, but was also WAY cuter than his profile photo, so I felt like it all balanced out.
(And to be clear: his actual height is a non-issue; lying about it was the downside.) But when we actually started talking, I felt like all this dude wanted to do was prove how ~*intellectual*~ and different he was.
And he called it the “T-Wash” because his name was Trevor. When T-Wash, as he has now become known, got up to go to the bathroom, I texted my friends to tell them the date was a dud. For some reason, even though we were basically the only ones in the bar, the server took her sweet time coming over to us and as a result, I had to sit there and, at T’s request, explain why I wasn’t down for date numero dos.
They agreed to meet me at the subway station and when T came back, I informed him that I had to get going. (Fun fact: It turns out that he changed from his work clothes into sweatpants because I “seemed like an easy-going chick.”)As soon as my debit payment went through, I waved goodbye and booked it out of the bar.
I figured, this way, I could see if he was down to talk or if he just wanted to hookup. He texted that something abruptly “came up” when I’d already been at the meeting spot for 30 minutes. We went to the same party a few weeks later, and he a) acted like nothing had happened, and b) tried to make a move. —After online dating for a while, I was so over exchanging endless text messages before actually making plans for a first date.
Instead, if a dude seemed to have decent spelling and a job, I was down to meet up and decide in-person if there was something there.
The rest of the walk back was spent listening to him talk about how he and his friends always do that between shovelling pieces of smoked salmon in his mouth.
and then he LOOKED AT MY SHOES TO SEE IF HE WAS RIGHT.
At that point, I realized I didn’t need to wait for three strikes.
We did not go on a second date.—My foray into online dating wasn’t exactly what I expected.
Prior to this particularly horrendous date, I’d only met someone from Tinder once (he was a bouncer at a club I frequented and we played Mario Kart for two dates before calling it quits).